They don’t want me to talk.
They don’t want anyone to talk.
They want silence and subservience and will tolerate no deviation from it.
The truth is condemned. The truth makes people squirm like dying worms under the July sun.
This is how history is erased; how it evolves. Rarely through new information, and often by what it is they choose to omit.
Who are “they”?
You know them. The same THEM it always is. They all look the same, and if they don’t, then you absolutely expected them too. In my mind, they are represented with slack-jawed, hollow protest and weak points. With bored eyes and a false sense of purpose. They’re gonna holy roll you the fuck over like so many zealots have. They come with rolls of duct tape. Ballgags if they’re kinky. They shove socks in your mouth so you can only mumble, and hold them in with dirty rags. They'll shove damn near anything down your throat if it stops the noise coming out of your mouth. This is a home invasion thing, only for your morals and belief systems. For the books you read as a kid and the points you have always held dear. For your politics, your religion, everything. This is how they take away what you love. Your suffocation is not their concern. They just want you to shut up.
They do not want you to talk.
They do not want US to talk.
Here’s the deal, and these motherfuckers will never understand it.
You can’t change the past, so the best you can do is not deny it, and instead use it as a learning tool. If you try to make the past unavailable, either to give the opportunity for it to repeat itself, or because it makes you uncomfortable, you’re scum. Any scum, your pick. The kind under dirty fingernails or around a drain. Whatever kind of scum you prefer, but scum all the same. They may do it in different ways. They may shame you by telling you that your opinion is stupid. They may tell you it’s impolite to talk about something. They’ll make you feel weird and out of place. They’ll berate you. They’ll get really personal, digging in and trying to damage you through the things that make you who you are. They will try to shatter your foundation, when all they want is for you to shut the fuck up.
Truth is truth. Truth is neutral. Truth is what happened. Truth is not a force of evil and we are not devils for refusing to forget what we were taught and what we have experienced. What was once a standard part of the curriculum is now condemned because it isn’t pretty. We live in a world where people kill each other, all the time, for a bevy of insignificant reasons. I wish I knew how many hearts are broken a day. I wish I had numbers for you regarding the existential horror that eats man alive every second. The incidents that haunt tired eyes and the toxic emotional sludge that is so hard to express to any living thing.
So the fact that nightmares happened – still happen – is not surprising. This is the world we live in. No one should have to pretend that it’s any different than it really is. Is there beauty in this world.? Absolutely, There is so much beauty that sometimes it hurts, but sometimes it’s scary. Has been before and always will be. We have kids saying the Holocaust is impossible. That nothing could go that far. We have kids who don’t know the Nazis existed in that capacity. We have all these atrocities that humans are PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF, being actively forgotten for some temporary comfort and a world that they want to be so unbelievably sterile that nothing new can even grow.
And if you don’t think that the really bad stories start with censorship, take a look at any horrible thing that has ever happened to any large group of people and you tell me how it started. With mandatory silence, by degrees.
Don’t let ‘em shut you up.
If they shut you up, then they’ve won.
They do not want you to talk.
They do not want us to talk.
So fucking scream instead.